The Disclaimer Blog

I know there are many of you eager readers out there who seek to find something that mimics the truth. There are housewives out there who really want to read true sexual confessions, males who need some fodder and the non fictional element is what gives a confession it’s magic. The distinction between fiction and non fiction is one:

Truth.

Fiction is the creation of a story from the imagination, and Non Fiction implies that the account is true, that it actually happened to the person or people that are described.


So, where does the buck stop for readers hunting sex blogs?

There are blogs, and there are disclaimer blogs. The first type don't really aim to 1. kiss booty, 2. feature lots of wobbly bits and 3. the writer's aren't super horny hot looking people. The second type are those blogs in which you’ll see a little (and it’s usually tiny, so it’s easily missed) square or button in the uppermost or lower corner of the blog. Click this and you’ll see another page that can translate to:

“This is all bullshit, enter at own risk.” or “ Just because I’m detailing this, it doesn’t meant that it’s real but if you want to pretend it’s real then that’s fine just don’t stalk me!’ Speaking of stalking….

Now if you’re happy reading fiction, that’s fine. If you’re happy to pretend you’re reading non fiction which is actually fiction, this is all fine as well.

Just remember:

It’s not true.
It doesn’t reflect any real sexual dynamic that can or may relate to you or your partner so just before you think that these people are having the time of their life and swinging from the chandeliers, remember the disclaimer! It’s highly likely that they’re not Don Juan or Jenna.

And better yet, some of the sexual positions are so out of this world, even ET would extend his thin stalk-like finger and scratch his head thinking 'wtf?'

So what does this mean for you, the potential sex blogger?

Use the disclaimer.

It absolves all responsibility. No one can point a finger at you or break into a tantrum when they discover that your 'real confessions' are .....fictional.

Avataaaaarghs

Ah, I’ve been away too long. But even your hard working De Shade must take a sabbatical sometimes. The delights of distant shores, filled with supplicant beauties, I can still taste their … another time perhaps dear reader. A story for another day.

One thing that is common in the world of erotic blogging is the use of the avatar image to support your legend and promote your blog.

As in all things in this merry dance of eroto-blogging, image is everything and truth can go to hell. Except of course in my case. The image you see is truly the visage of De Shade a rare treat when adult bloggers rarely show themselves.

And who can blame them? Would you show your face after baring your thoughts, your fantasies, you soft and squidy (occasionally hard and horny) bits?

Yes, yes some will, but for the most part you prefer the protection of an image gathered from the exotic depths of Google image search or Flikcr. What was that? Copyright did someone say? What’s that? Finders keepers seems to be the rule here.

Now with such a vast array of possible personas to be had via this cornucopia of imagery what should you choose?

Consider these types of images and what they say about you.

Absolutely abstract: (e.g. Jackson Pollock): I am mysterious, an enigma, but MSN me nicely and I’ll send you pictures of my fleshy bits if you do likewise.

Figurative abstract: (e.g. Van Gogh, Sunflowers): I have an artistic side, I am a sensitive being, but MSN me nicely and I’ll send you pictures of my fleshy bits if you send me pictures of your partner’s.

Comic (esp. animated): I have a sense of humor, I don’t take myself too seriously. Please send me pictures of your genitalia photographed from an unusual angle.

Sexy: I’m so hot and if you want to believe that image of the sexy leather clad, whip wielding vision is me then be my guest. BTW do you have any pictures of yourself naked.

Provocative: Yes that is a carrot and as you can see I’m not afraid to use it. Do you have any pictures of yourself in loving poses with vegetables.

Slutty: I will do anything for a Budweiser, so come over with a few bottles and bring your camera.

Obscene: I used to be slutty but I’ve let myself go. Or, please send me pictures that can only be taken with a speculum and endoscope.

Photoshopped to Fuck: I want to believe I’m sexy, I want you to believe the same. I really could do with some help with my self-esteem.

The Real Deal: Please stalk me, my number is 555-

Now what category does De Shade fall into? Hehehe.

Adieu