Image Is Everything

I have noticed lately a new trend towards image-centric blogs. These range from the non-creatively graphic with the standard pussy/penis covered in semen shots, in other words exhibitionism, to action shots on video. Neither of these have enriched the blogging community as this material has been available for a considerable time on porn sites.

This genre of non-creative blogging falls in to the following catagories:

Photoshopped

This is the type of photographic blog that contains images of the blogger. Posts being made either daily or weekly. In some cases it seems that any more frequent postings would be difficult given the amount of time needed to adjust the images in Photoshop before general release to the public.

One such blog’s author constantly presents their images against a black backdrop. You may wonder why, but it is obvious. The images are shaped and trimmed down every week to participate in the HNT posts. They painstakingly (and obviously) re-touch the images down from a size “actual size” to “desired size” every week.

I can understand that most of us would enjoy being admired in this way but please be honest about your images. If you are a large person rejoice in the fact, don’t try to fool everyone that you are not. A full and curvy figure is many people’s idea of heaven.

If your only contribution to the blogging world is posting dishonest images of yourself each week, then maybe it’s time to ask yourself what you get from blogging. Be proud of who you are and not what you believe others would have you be. Just a thought.

Image Snatch

It’s difficult to understand why this type of blog evolved in the first place. The total contents of the blog are stolen images of pussy/cock and come shots from existing galleries. All of which are readily available to the avid porn viewer. So why should we come over and take a look at your rehashged offerings? This type of blog takes no talent or time to create and should be looked upon as pure wank material.

They are often loaded with adverts too, becoming just revenue generating hook sites for their creator.

Flash The Gash

This type of blog fast becomes repetitive and monotonous as there are only so many times you can display your saggy pussy and tits before readers move on. Yet these bloggers insist on revealing their not so lovely bodies daily with pride. Some are even creating their own video clips, I advise you view with caution and in some cases a sick bag. Did I just hear a banjo?

If I wanted to view a pussy or a pair of tits there are plenty of galleries out there doing it much better. My advice, leave it to the pros and stop being such a dirty skank.

How to Take Out that Hated Blogger*

This could follow on from the previous post from the Gobblin’. How do you sabotage the blog* that you despise, and want to see die a slow painful death?

1) The best method, that hardly fails, is to spread rumor about the blogger you hate. You can make out like they’re harassing you, or stalking you in some way.

2) Create a conflict. When the hated blogger replies to you, to confront you, pretend you have amnesia. This makes the hated blogger look insane, and let’s you score some points. Warning: Should you fail to do this in a subtle manner, people will think you’re stark raving mad as well and will avoid you both.

3) Should you be the fortunate owner of a popular blog, you can start a boycott by enlisting your friends to not comment on the blog you hate. If you’re also lucky to be a high referrer, in addition to a popular blogger, then your grunts have no other choice but to follow your advice because you will remove their links from your blog. This works well because some bloggers would rather sever their little finger than lose traffic.

That’s my top three.

Remember: What goes around, comes around and I’m not talking about pussies and cocks. Being nice wins out each time. But should you desire to be nasty, because you’re a jealous so and so, then take my top three tips. Of course they damn well work. Be careful what you wish for.

* Blog refers to any blog that gets up your nose.

Blogger Comments Not Going So Well?

Is your blogger popularity waning? Do you have dwindling comments or feedback? Don’t worry, take action now. You can always use these tried and tested methods to increase your popularity and look as if you are not the only stinky kid in class.

Blogging is part talent, an aptitude for the written word (we know it should be all talent but, that’s not the way to popularity now is it.) and a huge lump of psychology. Tell your readers you are one Hot Cookie, your mailbox is overflowing each morning and your stats are astronomic. There aren’t enough hours in the day to respond to your faithful readers you have out there. Ok, perhaps that is pushing credibility to new levels but what the hell enough of them will fall for it, you can pull it off baby! I like the sound of that.

Step One

Spice up you sidebar. Put Hot, Spicy or something equally as eye-catching next to your friends on the sidebar to give them that extra zing. Then perhaps they will do the same for your blog.

Step Two

Create yourself a button so that all your blogger buddies can take one back to their blog making you stand out amongst the other mundane possibilities on their sidebar. Don’t forget to animate it for extra impact.

Step Three

Respond to your readers with a separate comment entry for each reply and voila! You just doubled the number of comments on your post with very little effort.

Step Four

Be warned this should only be used if all else fails (use with caution) add anonymous comments to your own posts. Be careful not to over do it as it can look very obvious if you have a higher proportion of anon comments to registered Blogger. For added credibility, give them names and stick to them no matter what.

Step Five

It takes a little more time but I feel it is well worth the investment. Set up blogger accounts for your ghost commenters. They don’t need to have a blog so don’t panic, just the id is fine and slightly more credible than the basic anon commenters.

Step Six

Mention your stats, those little babies are bound to turn them on. You can also make them up! After all who’s to know if you told a teeny weeny lie.

In addition to the above you could try changing your template. Reinvent yourself with a totally new look and whilst doing it take down some of your old posts. They will come in handy for republishing when you have nothing else in store.

Gratuities

Dear Reader

I’d like to pose three questions today.

• Have you ever been tempted to ask Bloggers for something that face-to-face in real life you would never dream of asking for?
• Have you ever been tempted to use your perceived importance within the blogging and wider web community to your advantage?
• Have you ever been tempted to reveal part of your real life self to other Bloggers to ingratiate yourself, or gain an advantage?

I will now answer the question that you must be pondering. Why would De Shade ask such questions?

A number of blogs give you the opportunity to “donate” to their author via paypal or some other means. A discrete PayPal button on the sidebar, a low-key, non-aggressive suggestion that their work is worth more than a bland comment. Bloggers put a lot of work into their sites and while these buttons may or may not work I am sure that the occasional gratuity will give the hardworking and under-valued writer a boost from time to time.

Just occasionally though Bloggers ask for a whole lot more. De Shade has noticed over the past months requests for accommodation (in a foreign country), funds for electronic equipment and most recently two posts on different blogs requesting that readers actually donate significant amounts of cash to the author.

Will the readers respond to overt requests for donations? Well apparently yes. Will Bloggers in receipt of those donation report them to the IRS? That is for their conscience to decide, and of course for the IRS to judge whether the donation is payment for services rendered or a gift between friends.

But enough of this idle speculation. If you really want to donate to a cause De Shade suggests one of the following.

Boobiethon

The Global Fund For Children

World Aids Day