Marque De Shade

All you need to know about creating a successful adult blog without really trying.

08 October 2006


Dear Reader

I’d like to pose three questions today.

  • Have you ever been tempted to ask Bloggers for something that face-to-face in real life you would never dream of asking for?
  • Have you ever been tempted to use your perceived importance within the blogging and wider web community to your advantage?
  • Have you ever been tempted to reveal part of your real life self to other Bloggers to ingratiate yourself, or gain an advantage?

I will now answer the question that you must be pondering. Why would De Shade ask such questions?

A number of blogs give you the opportunity to “donate” to their author via paypal or some other means. A discrete PayPal button on the sidebar, a low-key, non-aggressive suggestion that their work is worth more than a bland comment. Bloggers put a lot of work into their sites and while these buttons may or may not work I am sure that the occasional gratuity will give the hardworking and under-valued writer a boost from time to time.

Just occasionally though Bloggers ask for a whole lot more. De Shade has noticed over the past months requests for accommodation (in a foreign country), funds for electronic equipment and most recently two posts on different blogs requesting that readers actually donate significant amounts of cash to the author.

Will the readers respond to overt requests for donations? Well apparently yes. Will Bloggers in receipt of those donation report them to the IRS? That is for their conscience to decide, and of course for the IRS to judge whether the donation is payment for services rendered or a gift between friends.

But enough of this idle speculation. If you really want to donate to a cause De Shade suggests one of the following.


Blogger Muff Diver said...

I make it a point not to read blogs that have donation buttons. They ought to be thankful people drop in and read.
They can get a real job like others, instead of being lazy sitting on their asses.

If Dan Brown had a blog, do you think he'd have a Paypal button?

Mon Oct 09, 02:38:00 pm  
Blogger chelsea girl said...

I have a donation button and I'm not ashamed to ask for help. I put a lot of time into my blog; I write consistently and I write well. I also spend $14/month for my blogging platform, so in effect I have paid to bring my writing to people for free.

No one has to make a donation. I recognize that it is a choice to donate to me, and I thank each and every one of my readers who makes that choice.

My readers know that I am "not sitting on my lazy ass"; rather, I am working on my Ph.D.--I adjunct, I write for magazines, and I copy edit for cash. I just don't make enough. I appreciate every single penny my readers give to me from the largess of their hearts.

And, yes, I do give to charity too--AIDS charities, Planned Parenthood, Animal resucue services as well as the fellow blogger who is down on his or her luck when I am up on mine.

It's a hard world out there--why stand in judgment of people who need a bit of help from time to time?

chelsea girl

Mon Oct 09, 11:27:00 pm  
Blogger Muff Diver said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Tue Oct 10, 03:32:00 am  
Blogger Muff Diver said...

Meanwhile other people still slave at real jobs and they manage to get by...

Your post is interesting though Chelsea. Just because you're terrible at managing your financial affairs, your readers are asked to consider donating to your personal cause.

It's not just you, there are many out there who beg for things like gadgets.

It's the most elegant form of con artistry I've seen.

Your readers didn't ask you to fork out $14.00 per month, that was your decision. The onus isn't on them.

Tue Oct 10, 03:34:00 am  
Blogger Anastasia said...

So if bloggers don't put a tip in they don't get a Fleshbot feature?


That's supposed to be a joke.

There must be a lot of bloggers out there that make a lot of 'typos' not to be chosen

Tue Oct 10, 09:05:00 am  
Blogger O said...

Many, many blogs have donation buttons; if I stopped reading blogs that had them it would keep me from reading some of the best political and science blogs out there, among others.

I have a donation button on my own blog, and I've also asked for help in the past when I needed it. I've been very grateful for every bit of help I've received, financial and otherwise, from others--including Chelsea.

Like CG, I am an adjunct; like CG, I don't have savings or family to call upon for help. If people who read regularly feel like throwing 2 dollars in the blogger's tipjar once a month, why shouldn't they? If I have a financial crisis--which happens far too easily to the very poor even with careful money management, a single setback like an illness or an accident or a paycheck arriving late means our house of cards comes tumbling down--why shouldn't I ask for help?
I can promise you, I would much, much prefer to not be in that position; I would be far happier to not have such a crisis ever. But shit happens. Why snark at people for being poor?

It must be very nice for you to be so financially secure that you can turn up your nose at the very idea of asking for donations. I sincerely hope that you're never in a position to need such help.

Your con artistry comment makes no sense. There's no con here.


CG already addressed the issue of how she, at least, selects blogs for fleshbot, below. The useful *tip* would be to email her links to anything you'd like her to consider.


Wed Oct 11, 01:13:00 am  
Blogger Anastasia said...

It's all right O, I submit my work to the usual channels (publications etc), I was just a little perplexed when I read about the reason why blogs aren't selected, but now that I'm aware that a blogger simply has to email a post for Fleshbot consideration, that probably clarifies a lot of things for many other bloggers even though many selections aren't emailed through to begin with.

Thu Oct 12, 08:19:00 am  
Blogger O said...

Hi Anastasia,

I'm only speaking about what chelsea herself said here and on her own blog; she's asked people many times to email her any posts that they'd like to see considered for her roundup. This can be anything: your own post or someone else's.

I actually looked recently for posts to send CG. (My criteria were: well-written posts, by people I don't 'know'--who don't link me or I them, and people who have not been fleshbotted before.)
It was VERY hard to do. I looked for an hour and a half, and found only one, which I emailed CG--and she had already found it and already had it on her list for that week.
(Another shocking thing: in those 90 minutes, I probably only read 15 new blogs. It took a long time. I looked at more than the most recent post, obviously, for these blogs--they were writers who were entirely new to me, and so I read several posts on each. I found people i will read again, but I also only found one post written in the last two weeks that met my criteria.)

Anyone can email a link to FB directly, but I'd suggest you also email the actual reviewers directly. CG has asked for such emails many times, and though I don't know jefferson I'm sure he'd be happy to get such emails as well. FB does not pay a team of researchers to read sexblogs all week, unfortunately. My experience of spending an hour and a half trying to meet the above criteria gave me an appreciation of how difficult it would be. Hell, in an hour and a half I found one thing; I can't imagine doing it every week.

I'd urge anyone with an issue with fleshbot to try my experiment themselves, and then email the results to CG or J, or both! I'm sure both would be thrilled with a brand new crop of great things to read and feature.

That being said, I know I'd feel weird sending in my own link to be featured; but CG at least has repeatedly asked for people to do just that, and I do know her and I know she would absolutely look at anything sent in and be grateful for all suggestions.


Thu Oct 12, 09:46:00 am  
Blogger Anastasia said...

You make out like a 'well written' post is supposed to be something like Tolstoy, there have been many posts in the roundup that aren't elaborate, they're to the point and some are quite simple from a literary point of view, and the thing is there are usually only six posts per roundup, and there are more than 120 sex blogs out there that post numerous times a week.

So I don't really see the importance of Fleshbot, to be honest, not when the selector has a certain theme in mind. So if one week has a threesome theme, then it basically eliminates other blogs that don't post about threesomes that week, that are 'well written.' It's not like it provides a balanced sexblog 'roundup', when it only picks up on what the selector has in mind for that week, and limits it to six blog posts.

How is that a round up? It's more close to a select narrow group of blogs, that mind you, are frequently revisited or rounded up. It's been interesting to see the pattern over the last year I've been blogging.

O, I don't think it's that hard to find posts that are well written, there are many out there but, what I've noticed, in the last twelve months is that Fleshbot Sexblog roundup is frequently about Who you know, not what is written or, who one prefers to promote, regardless of the post.

What you're basically saying is that it takes you one hour and a half to find one post to your liking.

I know of blogs that update several times a week, and they may be featured once a year on Fleshbot, whereas other blogs that are 'friends of friends' get botted more than this. So it does raise the question of favoritism.

But in saying all of the above, six blog featurettes per week is hardly a reflection on the content that is out there, including the well written content.

The section shouldn't be titled 'SexBlog Roundup' it should be titled 'What I Prefer to Promote in Accordance to What I Fancy.'

Thu Oct 12, 02:59:00 pm  
Blogger Karl Elvis said...

Oh admit it, if readers would drop cash on YOU guys you'd be the first ones with the tin cups out.

Most of us just ain't good enough to get real paid for this gig.

Thu Oct 12, 05:41:00 pm  
Blogger Muff Diver said...

How right you are Karl.

I guess earning a clear $1000.00 is easier than lying on one's back and spreading those legs. Isn't that so CG?

"A sucker's born every minute."

Tue Oct 17, 01:24:00 pm  

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